So we all know what happens in our teens, we go through puberty and many other changes. What they fail to mention in schools, is your second puberty that you go through in your twenties. Some of our biggest accomplishments and disasters happen in our twenties, but why aren’t we ever warned? After recently celebrating my 28th birthday, here are my top ten things to look out for in your twenties.
- You start to grow hair in new places! Pretty sure you heard this one in school right? What they fail to mention in those classes is that in your twenties, you’ll resemble a teenage boy with the onset of a beard. You’ll grow tired of plucking those dashing chin hairs and resort to spending hundreds on laser hair removal.
- Hair has stopped growing in other places. Remember those thick luscious brows you had? That you begged your mum to let you tweeze? Well they are no more, you’ve overdone it so much that when big brows came into fashion you have to resort to crayoning them back on.
- You’ve rejected the underwear you were so desperate to wear. Those tiny g-strings that you had to persist with for weeks, just to feel comfortable and grown up. Now you love nothing better than putting a pair of your favourite cartoon cotton boxer style shorts. No matter what look the other half gives you when you pull them out of the drawer.
- Hating bras! I spent hours looking down my top waiting for them to grow, desperate to go bra shopping. Now they’re so blinking huge, and you’re so scared of gravity taking over that you wear the most uncomfortable reinforced contraption to keep them held into place. The best feeling of the day is when you get home and get to take the damn thing off.
- So back when you got your first boyfriend, we’ve all been accused by our friends of being a bit shit and ditching them. Now it’s the other way round, a night with the girls is seen as a real treat as coordinating women in their twenties takes military precision.
- I can’t wait to live on my own. That’s all I ever used to yell at my mum. What you fail to realise is once you do, you can barely afford to anything but sit in your flat on your own. From having a ridiculous amount of disposable cash for new clothes and nights out, you resort to living like a student eating beans on toast despite now working full time.
- Missing the nights out suddenly becomes a conscious effort. You always used to feel like you’d be missing out if you couldn’t make a night out in the clubs. Now you’d rather spend your time at home with your cat and a bottle of wine, watching netflix in your PJs. Because the thought of not being able to hear yourself think, your feet hurting from the pretty shoes you had to buy and spending £9 on a cocktail has just lost its appeal.
- I can’t wait for my friends to get married. Now you spend your life rallying around trying to find the perfect gift, dress and date, three to seven times a year. It all costs so much you’ve had to cancel your summer holiday.
- I can’t wait for my friends to start having babies. You envisaged spending your days buying beautiful little people clothes and cuddles. But when your cocktail dates turn to coffee dates your friend is barely conscious due to her lack of sleep, so you end up putting her to bed and spend your time tidying up and babysitting.
- My quarter life crisis, you have a huge meltdown as you haven’t met the perfect guy, got the right career and everyone seems to be doing the most amazing and exciting things. But what you don’t realise is you’ve found who your real friends are, learned to stand on your own two feet and made invaluable life lessons that will stay with you forever.
So I say enjoy your twenties and the changes that come with them! You’ve got plenty of time to get your crap together in your thirties!